Los Angeles High School of the Arts

The pros and cons of strict parenting

Having strict parents is the most hated thing when you are a teenager. Although we know that having parents that limit you is beneficial in a way, there are many more disadvantages, specifically the pressure that forces us to be extra careful in doing the right things. That is the paradox of discipline.

The strictness of parents escalates the chance of a child to lie. My friend reasoned out “it’s hard to be always true when it comes to opening up with your parents because their generation is way more different compared to ours, they will never understand how to live as a teenager now.”

It is true that even the simplest thing of telling the truth is the hardest part of having strict parents, this pushes us to stay on a safe side and create a solution that called “white lies.” When a teenager feels like they can’t do the things other kids are doing, they feel dependent upon their parents and that’s not supposed to happen; we need to experience life a little bit and locking up our freedom will push us to the edge of not learning its lessons. My friend added how she understood that strict parenting would trigger a child to hide who they really are in front of their parents because they are scared and feel unsafe to do so.

Science also has a stand on the issue. Dr. Laura Markham, a psychologist and author of “Peaceful Parent, Happy Kid” said, “Strict parent deprives children of the opportunity to learn self-discipline, because all control and decisions come from the parent.” Having two strict parents was more likely cause a behavioral problem, harsh limitation produces the tension between the relations of parent and child.  Some parents forget they are raising a child, which eventually will have their own life and family in the future.

As a product of authoritarian parents, Paul Martin, a science writer and former behavioral therapist with Cambridge University stated, “Children raised under extreme parenting conditions exhibited a host of problems including higher rates of depression in adulthood, than children raised with other parenting styles.” They are forced to follow rules even if they don’t agree to it, which then change the mindset of the child and later in their life won’t question authority when they should.

Although strict parents have a lot of negative effects to a child, I would be lying if this doesn’t have a positive outcome for us. We learn how to face the consequences confidently because we know how to cope with our wrong behavior. Living The Bump cites, “Strict parents push their children to be better, so they develop confidence in themselves and their abilities.”

Parents are the first ones who open our minds to the reality that our wrong actions can lead us down the wrong path in life. The struggles of having strict parents keep us on a track that most likely helps us to be successful not only in school but also in life. And for social skills, children with strict parents are seemingly very good in problem solving and guiding their friends. According to psychiatrist Diana Baumrind, “Children are apt to demonstrate leadership qualities… authoritative parenting has been associated with positive self-esteem, especially in women.” The discipline inclined on having strict parents allow us to know our limitations and so as the responsibilities we can fulfill.

Strict parents can result in both negative and positive outcomes. As an individual, we need to be independent in a way we can conquer as a valuable citizen of our country. Too much is never good in anything. My point is being a strict parent is not all wrong, we usually don’t get the point of that, but by all means disciplining kids need a balance of limits and at the same time, freedom; a parent that would not tie a leash on our desires and will let us learn independently at times.

 

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