Satire: Build That Wall! Canadians Hurting America!

Aren’t you all sick of Canadians coming to America and taking our jobs and hurting our good old American values!? Sure they give us syrup made by their national tree, but they bring us even more negatives.

Photo Courtesy of Dave Chidley

They are taking over our culture and contaminating Americans kids! Like in the music industry Drake, Justin Bieber, Carly Rae Jepsen and Michael Bublé are taking over.

In comedy we have Jim Carrey and Seth Rogen living in fake worlds and smoking weed, which are setting bad examples! Then you have Michael J. Fox traveling back to the future and Rachel McAdams bullying people in Mean Girls.

Ryan Gosling is breaking our hearts with trash like La La Land and The Notebook! Ryan Reynolds is breaking bones in Deadpool & Green Lantern!

That’s not even mentioning Mike Myers who stole Americans’ money to go see Shrek and Austin Powers. On top of all that we have Alex Trebek and Howie Mandel deciding who’s the smartest and most talented in Jeopardy & America’s Got Talent. Come on, it’s America’s got talent not Canada’s got Talent!

Ok now to sports, they have created a whole slew of violent, teeth-missing hockey players and a decent baseball player Joey Votto, but nobody that help teams win Championships. Plus, I can’t believe we let Canada have a frickin’ baseball team, I mean come on, it’s an American sport.

In my opinion, the NBA, MLB, and NHL should all follow the NFL in not having teams in Canada. Or just don’t have any Canadians in America.

I propose a plan that will deport the toxic Canadians and to build a wall protecting us from their countries dangers. It will save lives and Make America Great Again!

The purpose of this article is to show the stupidity of building a wall on America’s borders like our president suggests.