“I wish I was 25 already.’’
Everyone wants to grow up, but there is a fear of growing up that worries me. We are no longer that little kid running freely without a care in the world.
Growing up means no longer depending on someone to care for you. Growing up is facing reality and accepting challenges. Growing up comes with fears.
Don’t get me wrong, I want to grow up. I want to experience life but at the same time it is a point in my life I am afraid to get to. I grew up surrounded by a family who did not really know how to respect one another, I grew up with parents that truly loved us but did not provide that calm environment a child needs, I grew up seeing the adults around me struggle financially, and not live the way they truly desire. I guess those reasons affect me when I envision myself growing and creating a life of my own.
When you start growing you think of all the places you want to see, all the stuff you want to buy, etc. I wish I could say the same about myself but I can not. Instead, I worry that I might not be able to financially support myself and my future family. I have a fear that when I grow older and have children I become the parent my father and mother used to be — the one thing I promised myself not to do.
I want to be better than that. I want to create a calm, gentle and loving environment — the environment I envied while growing up.
Growing up to some means freedom. I believe that when you are older, you can do as you wish. Now I am not trying to be negative again, but I am talking about my fears that come with growing old. But what if I am not able to be free?
A couple days ago I asked my brother, “Do you have any fears when you think of growing up, if so what are they?” He said, “I am afraid that I will not be free that I will always be busy working and will never have time nor the money to explore. I am also afraid to be old and in pain, I am not trying to have back pain and everything that comes with it.”
When you’re an adult your life can be hectic. You have to find a way to balance your life. To have freedom you have to be set. It is very understandable to have this fear. When I am older I want to be able to travel and not worry if I’ll be able to afford it. I do not want to spend my life just working. I mean who would want to live life without actually living and enjoying every minute of it? Exactly, no one.
The thought of growing up does not have the same impact on everybody. For instance, my boyfriend. I asked him the same question and he replied, “Actually I am ready to grow older. I want to make money. When it comes to that I am very confident.”
While some are ready others are not. Growing old has different meanings for each person. I believe that many things play a role on how you think when it comes down to this topic.
I don’t feel as alone to grow older knowing that others feel the same way. Everyone has their own reasons and every single one of them is valid. If you are reading this, it’s going to be okay. Everything will fall into place.