(Image courtesy of Megan Hackbarth)
Los Altos High School

Creative Essay: Dear Charlie, fake friends suck and remember to remain infinite

The aim of the letters for “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” is to represent and discuss the story in a meaningful way, particularly the life of the 15-year-old protagonist named Charlie, who experiences a mental illness. Through the course of Charlie’s first year of high school, he narrates his experiences through a series of letters he writes to an anonymous person. Charlie describes his relationships with his family and friends along with the guilt and concerns he feels for others. Through the letters, Charlie is shown to be shy and reaching out for help.

From the epistolary of letters, Charlie is reaching out to an anonymous person, “I am writing to you because she said you listen and understand,” Chbosky wrote. Charlie goes through deep hardships with family, friends and his repressed memories. In his letters, Charlie has shown growth and self-healing. Writing gives Charlie the ability to take control and make himself feel comfortable.

I wrote three letters that are addressed to Charlie and written anonymously to showcase similarities to Charlie’s writing style and show the transition of a pessimistic viewpoint to an optimistic viewpoint as it initially talks about the negative aspects of people to a more positive outlook on life and the future. These series of letters were written to Charlie to honor Charlie’s character from “The Perks of Being a Wallflower,” written by Stephen Chbosky, and the importance of writing to self-heal and self-discover.

The third letter (out of three) is below. Read my first two letters first! All in all, keep on writing!

 

Letter number three

Dear Charlie,

Recently, I have been reading many books. I finished reading “The Catcher in the Rye.” I cried many times. This book made me rethink my life choices. I actually relate to Holden. It made me feel not so alone.

Do you ever feel that even in your friend groups they don’t understand you? Actually, let me ask you a different question. Do you feel like no one on this damn planet can ever relate to you or understand you? I feel that.

Even my parents and close friends can’t. I’m not blaming anyone. Dang, I am actually not blaming myself either. That’s a first. I just personally feel that I am going through so much, it’s overwhelming and I feel embarrassed to reach out. I actually thought about it. From reading an article, I, in fact, appreciate this. There is nothing wrong with keeping things to yourself. Sometimes I take peaceful walks by myself and just breathe and appreciate the life I have.

I was recently listening to someone talk about his close friends and their zodiac signs. This got me interested in my zodiac sign. I am an “Aquarius.” Looked up what it was. Supposedly, my tag line is “I know” and to win my heart, you must “respect their world view” and my dirty secret is “nothing is too kinky for them.” Got this information from the internet. Credible? I agree, except with the dirty secret. I just laughed. I actually got very interested. Can my zodiac sign actually predict my future, personality, and all that other stuff? Let’s find out.

Aquarius Culture:

  1. They can see right through people’s fakeness
  2. Sometimes their mind is too advanced for some people to understand
  3. Speak fluent sarcasm
  4. Rebel and unique one
  5. Either be cold and emotionally detached or extremely emotional
  6. Realest one you will ever meet
  7. Running from emotions
  8. Asking for advice then doing the opposite
  9. Opening up? Ahahaha ur funny

Aquarius Traits:

  1. Intelligent
  2. Quirky
  3. Friendly
  4. Independent
  5. Talented
  6. Shy
  7. Opinionated
  8. Tolerant
  9. Likable
  10. Original

I’m not sure if some of them are compliments or not? And I’m not sure there is some truth to this. I’ll just assume they have some truth. And I actually like these results. They actually describe me.

To be honest, I can see right through people. One time I met my sister’s “friend.” I talked to her for about 10 minutes. FAKE. I warned my sister when we got home. She didn’t believe me.

A month later, she comes home crying because of her fake friend. This actually happened many times. Maybe this a reason why I have a hard time opening up to people. Also, if I were to say something deeply personal to someone, it spreads like wildfire. That’s why I am either cold and emotionally detached to people or extremely emotional.

Not to scare you, I can be a good friend. I am not bragging. Every so often, I see a stranger I don’t know who is sad or lost or upset or crying. I would go up to them and give them a hug. We honestly need more love and hugs in this world. Why have wars when we can just have world peace?

I eventually got bored with the zodiac signs because honestly, I know who I am and what I can do with my life. I’m not that dumb to be always searching up my most compatible friends or “relationships.” I later read some books about peace. Why not?

I have been sad lately. Like real sad. Not the cry-over-your-boyfriend-because-he-cheated-on-you type of sad or the I-failed-my-test type of sad. More like a there-is-stress-in-every-aspect-of-my-life type of sad. I actually received two “free” books from a book festival the past year at some university.

I got “Everything We Do Matters and Path to Peace.” I liked it because they were written by Buddhist monks and they were printed in Taiwan. “Everything We Do Matters” is about the teaching of Buddhism: maintaining a calm and clear mind, vengeance, appreciation, transforming greed and anger, and much more. I kind of got bored. However, I found it quite relaxing.

“Path to Peace” is basically a calendar with a quote for each day. I actually smile when I read them. I feel very motivated and happy. I hope I stay happy. I’ll share one of them to you:

“Calm the mind…

Let go of pain

Let go of sorrow

Let go of bitterness.

Heal the heart…

Find joy

Find serenity

Find equanimity.”

In the past, this quote was my phone wallpaper because I was going through a rough time. This quote helped me let go of my anger. These quotes are so good, I will share you one more.

“The end of the path is

No birth

No aging

No sickness

No death

It is sublime

Liberation.”

Wow. This quote and many others made my heart a little lighter. After reading countless quotes, I do feel liberated. Enlightened and free. Like you Charlie, I feel infinite.

From the countless days of thinking about my future, planning my future, and working hard, I feel happier and I feel that I accept myself for who I am. I want to thank you, Charlie. You were always there for me. That one person that understood me without me even saying much. You will always be thanked by me. I wish you a happy, healthy and blissful life. When I feel sad, I will read your letters, because I know I would feel good again.

Remain infinite.

 

With love,

Your friend