68% of americans have received injuries from crosswalk buttons since 2014
Ontario High School

Satire: Crosswalks danger to citizens

“The Jumpman wouldn’t pop up fam,” recalls a distraught Ontario woman after a cross walk button broke her thumb and dislocated her wrist.

From an early age, Viviana Haysti discovered that if the crosswalk button was repeatedly pressed, the “Jumpman” would appear instantaneously. Since then, she has used this method to prevent waiting hours at the crosswalk.

Unfortunately, city officials realized that citizens were cheating the crosswalk system, so they quickly implemented a system to prevent this.

Haysti remembers the incident very clearly; her unfortunate experience is a testament to the dangers crosswalks pose to pedestrians. Stress accumulated from repeatedly pressing the crosswalk button can eventually lead to Carpal tunnel syndrome, fractured—or broken—bones, among other injuries; this exactly occurred to Haysti.

Professionals in the medical field agree that the thumb is most at risk, since, according to statistics put forth by the Say No to Crosswalks organization (SNC), people use that finger most frequently in pressing buttons.

“A lot of emergency visits come from thumb injuries,” said a local hospital spokesperson.

“People just have places to go. They don’t have time to press the button just once, or twice.”

Medical officials recommend limiting the number of times the crosswalk button is pressed; a minimum of four times per traffic button encountered.