“The best part about listening is that it’s the only skill that reveals your true empathy,” says Ms.Tafazoly, a school counselor who has been raised in a family of teachers, and guided hundreds of students over the past 20 years. Her counseling ethos underscores the transformation that happens when one decides to tune in deeply rather than fill the air with noise.
Known for her unconventional methods—think casual jam sessions on her ukulele or impromptu mindfulness exercises—her true gift lies in creating safe spaces for open dialogues and genuine interactions. The first step is to embrace the silent moments and hone the art of listening with care: “I try to breathe in the conversation,” Tafazoly explains. Too often, people can rush to respond, fearing silence. Despite the urge to fill in the lingering moments, “engaging with those quiet moments is where the real connection begins,” she adds.
One of her most effective techniques is what she calls the “two-second hush.” After someone finishes speaking, she suggests pausing—just for two extra seconds—before replying.
“Those two seconds can feel like an eternity,” she says, “but they often coax out emotions and thoughts that might have otherwise remained unspoken.” When people realize they aren’t being interrupted, they reveal what really lies beneath the surface of words.
Another essential step is offering full, undivided attention—what she describes as a “gift.” In a world prevalent with multitasking, true listening requires resisting the urge to think ahead to your own response.
“If your mind is racing with what to say next, you’re missing the subtle shifts in tone or body language that reveal what someone really says,” Tafazoly says. Reflection, rather than reaction, allows deeper understanding to unfold.
Avoiding assumptions is equally important. Tafazoly describes assumptions as “protective mechanisms” that distort true empathy. Instead, she encourages rephrasing key points aloud to confirm understanding.
“So, you felt left out after not being invited to the event. Is that right?” Simple clarifications like this not only prevent misunderstandings but also quiet our inner monologue, ensuring we listen with presence rather than projection.
Ultimately, Tafazoly’s approach highlights how mindful listening exhibits sincere care. By honoring silence, offering full attention and resisting assumptions, we move beyond surface-level chatter to authentic connection. In those small, intentional pauses, people feel truly heard—and that’s where trust, understanding and transformation take root.
