When I walked in on the first day of school I could not help but notice how much had changed over the summer. Everyone had added new people to their friendship cliques and I saw people talking who would never be caught dead hanging out before. Turns out there is actually a reason this happens and, in my opinion, there really is no need to be afraid or fearful of it happening to you.
Even though you may be taught that most friendship shifts occur in middle school, high school is actually where they transform the most. Friendship adjustments can be caused by anything from changes in levels of maturity, romantic relationships, and even experiences at sleepaway camps and summer programs.
Friendships can also change because someone might be pursuing a higher social status than the other person, which could complicate the friendship and cause division.
“Someone might want a different status or level,” said Rachel Ford, Brentwood’s leader of Upper School Counseling and Foundations. “Some people want to be popular, so they ditch their friends for a more “popular” group.”
Perhaps surprisingly, only a very small percentage of friendship groups stay exactly the same year to year. This allows for you to make new friends, meet new people and grow as a person.
According to a study done in March 2025 in the medical journal Social Networks, “Only 37-40% of friendships from one year carried over to the next, and by the end of high school, just ~16% of 9th-grade friendships remained intact post-graduation.”
Not everyone meets their best friends in high school, so it might help students manage these changes more if they adjusted their expectations.
“I think in high school, everyone’s friendships look different and a lot of people don’t meet their closest friends in high school. They meet later in life, like, college and beyond,” Ford said.
I asked Senior Audrey Kim why she thinks her friendships adjusted so much in high school.
“I think our interests no longer aligned and I wanted to find people that I could feel more connected to,” Kim said.
While these shifts might feel disruptive at first, and a little scary, they will not only open new doors for you in your future, but may lead you to discover new people and create lifelong bonds as you grow. Making new friends, forging new paths and uncovering new interests is part of experiencing high school.
