For many teenagers, high school feels like a checklist.
Take challenging classes. Join clubs. Volunteer. Prepare for standardized tests. Build a resume that stands out.
In the middle of trying to accomplish all of these things, it is easy to forget that high school is also one of the few times in our lives dedicated to discovering who we are. While classrooms teach us academic subjects, it is often difficult for teachers to individually guide every student through the process of understanding themselves, their values and the kind of person they hope to become.
Developing as a person requires more than academic success. It requires opportunities to reflect, challenge yourself, and grow alongside people with different experiences. Leadership programs provide exactly that. Often held during the summer, these programs give teenagers the opportunity to step away from their usual routines and dedicate time toward personal growth, something that can be difficult to prioritize during a busy school year.
Programs such as the Hugh O’Brian Youth Leadership seminar, the National Student Leadership Conference, and the California Association of Student Councils bring students together to explore leadership, service, and self development in environments designed for growth.
Founded in 1958, Hugh O’Brian Youth Leadership, or HOBY, is a nonprofit organization that brings high school students together for leadership seminars centered on personal growth, service, and community engagement. Students spend several days participating in discussions, listening to accomplished speakers, collaborating with peers from different backgrounds, and reflecting on what leadership truly means. At first glance, it sounds like another leadership conference.
As someone who recently attended the Hugh O’Brian Youth Leadership seminar, I came to realize that leadership programs offer something many teenagers rarely experience: the opportunity to discover themselves outside the routines of everyday school life.
When I first arrived, I felt the same anxiety that many teenagers experience when walking into a room where they know no one. I sat down next to a group of strangers, wondering whether everyone else already had friends or knew what to expect. Within minutes, I realized that every student had come from a different school. Nobody knew each other.
That small realization changed everything.
In high school, we often define ourselves by the people around us. We become known as the student in AP Biology, the captain of a sports team, the debater, the musician, or the quiet person in class. We spend years surrounded by the same classmates, and without realizing it, we begin to believe that those labels define us.
The Hugh O’Brian Youth Leadership seminar stripped all of that away.
Everyone started with the same blank slate. There were no established friend groups, no reputations, and no expectations. For perhaps the first time in a long while, I was simply another student trying to figure things out. Ironically, that uncertainty made it easier to connect with others because everyone was equally unfamiliar with the environment.
A group of students from across Southern California came together as the “Starfighters” during the Hugh O’Brian Youth Leadership seminar, demonstrating how stepping outside familiar environments can help teenagers build connections and discover new perspectives. (Photo by Joonhee Kim)
Throughout the weekend, we attended workshops on leadership, completed personality assessments, and listened to professionals share their experiences. One of the ideas that stayed with me was that leadership is not about having authority or standing in front of a crowd. Instead, it is about creating an environment where people feel comfortable enough to contribute their own ideas.
Teenagers often associate leadership with confidence, charisma, or holding an impressive title. We picture student body presidents, team captains, or the people who naturally command attention. Yet the most effective leaders I met during the seminar were not always the loudest voices in the room. They understood that leadership is measured not by how much attention you receive, but by how much you help others succeed.
Perhaps that is why programs like Hugh O’Brian Youth Leadership are so valuable during high school.
Teenagers are in a unique stage of life where they are constantly asking themselves who they want to become. Unfortunately, much of our time is spent pursuing measurable achievements rather than personal growth. Grades can tell us how well we understand calculus. Test scores can estimate our college readiness. A resume can summarize our accomplishments. None of those things, however, can teach empathy, self awareness, or the ability to connect with people whose experiences differ from our own.
Those qualities develop when we leave familiar environments and challenge ourselves to engage with new people and new perspectives.
Stepping outside our comfort zones forces us to reconsider the assumptions we make about ourselves. It gives us the opportunity to discover strengths we did not know we possessed while recognizing areas where we still have room to grow. More importantly, it reminds us that personal growth often begins with discomfort. The nervousness we feel before introducing ourselves to strangers or participating in unfamiliar activities is not a sign that we do not belong. It is often a sign that we are about to learn something meaningful.
Programs like HOBY cannot answer every question about who we are. What they can do is give us the space to ask those questions in the first place. In a world where teenagers are constantly encouraged to build stronger applications, perhaps we should spend just as much time building stronger character.
After all, discovering who you are may be the most important leadership lesson of all.
